STUFF YOUR STOCKING
Gross. Not like that. We meant these are good bonus gifts but you probably don’t want to waste your time individually wrapping them all.
MOST POPULAR ACCESSORIES
WIN THE WHITE ELEPHANT
We know it’s awkward that your aunt brought a dildo to the family white elephant. Here are some slightly more appropriate gifts that are guaranteed to be stolen at least twice.
SHOP HOTTEST ACCESSORIES
ALL ITEMS UNDER $25
FOR YOUR CHEAP ASS
Alright Discount Dan and Coupon Courtney. You really won’t pony up the $49 for a pair of Grand Prix for your ONLY brother? Here’s all our items under $25 that even your cheap ass can afford this giving season.
ONE SIZE FITS ALL
DON’T OFFEND THEM BY BUYING THE WRONG SIZE
Sure, you could get them another graphic T-Shirt with a quote from “The Office”, but do you remember your friend’s exact circumference? There are endless ways to fuck this up. Better not risk it.
CLOTHING ITEMS
NEVER NUDES
Just because they’re ashamed of their bodies, doesn’t mean they should be ashamed of their clothes.
PRODUCTS OVER $100
PROVE YOU LOVE THEM
Some say the best gift you can give someone is your time. You know what we’d rather get? Expensive gifts.
Z87+ RATED
CLUMSY IDIOTS
You wouldn’t believe how many emails we get from customers claiming we saved their eyeballs from nail guns, pavement, saw blades, and literal human feces. For the butterfingers in your life, we’ve got ANSI Z87+ rated protection.
CYCLING GEAR
TAINT RASH
I don’t know anything about bicycles, but my boss told me to put this category here. Fuckin’ nerds. If you’re gonna stare at your friends’ chamois all day, make sure it’s looking good.
SPANDEX ENTHUSIASTS
WINTER SPORTS GEAR
THE BEST SKIER ON THE MOUNTAIN
They stretch all year to get the widest Daffy possible. They’ve got a permanent rip in the crotch of their ski jeans and they’re not afraid to let it all Frank out. They are: The Best Skier On The Mountain.
BETTER CALL THEM OUT
BEVERAGE HOLDING PRODUCTS
BLACK OUT BUDDIES
For the friend that’s always got libation handy. Help free their hands up with our wide range of beverage holders.
GIFT CARDS
For the unimaginative
All this generosity is getting exhausting, and you still have more people to shop for?! You know what, gift cards would do the trick too.
BORING, BUT EFFECTIVEOTHER CRAP ZONE
Why stop there? Credit card limits don’t exist in December.
Something like a digital newspaper delivered straight to your digital mailbox.
If only.